Stand up and reach for your toes. Can you touch them? Can you put your fingertips, or maybe even your palms, on the floor?
There is a part of your voice that feels like you. It feels good. There is a part of your voice that doesn’t feel like you…at least not how you wish to feel if you “had your druthers…” It feels heavy, critical, and defeated.
This is the voice of the contortionist. This is the part of you who is trying to figure out how to fold herself (or himself) into an ancient steamer trunk and ship you far, far away.
Consider this: For the majority of your life you may have been attempting to fold yourself into a version of you that is perfectly acceptable to your society. The open, flexible mind that is a part of every human being’s beginning has learned how to fold itself into a fitting gift for others. It’s the part that we most often give away, a fitting sacrifice to the Cult of Mediocrity.
We speak and act in the way we’ve learned works. We talk in another voice, with other people’s words, trained by a relentless coach who demands that you keep your buns on the bench.
Allow your Constant Traveler to amaze and delight you…
Let’s talk about the words that swirl around in your head, but let’s consider the feelings that arise from the words that swirl around in your head.
Your Constant Traveler, the most honorable, compassionate, and elegant part of you, will never condemn you. This is the part that is there to light the way, and guide you towards the best version of you that you can possibly imagine. With the help of your CT, you can safely examine every aspect of your life, because nothing is taboo. When your CT speaks to you it is always with your best in mind. It is the part of you that invites you to do:
If the voice you hear condemns you, it’s not accurate. It is a memory. It may speak with your voice, but it is the result of a painful, contorted memory. Experiences that hurt or confuse or make you afraid often lead to these memories being activated.
I am flexible and open. Memories aren’t real. I don’t have to contort myself into something I’m not in order to be me.
In fact, the resistance you feel to the contortion request is your Constant Traveler gently reminding you, “There is another way…a better way.“
If people don’t see you for who you are or accept you for who you are…can you? Or are you seeking confirmation from the contorted version they see and accept? Confirmation that what they believe about you are is righter than what you believe about you? Can you hear how bizarre that sounds?
The feeling of being out of “sync” with who you feel you are inside is your Constant Traveler’s voice…your elegance…requesting an audience. It is your natural desire to connect and transcend the barriers that have kept your buns on the bench.
When who you are inside has been rejected so often that you felt you never got to be you, then how do you get to know you?
I may not know where I am, but I can know who I am.
I may not know exactly where I’m going, but I can know who is going with me.
Can I love her everywhere?
Who are you, in real life?
You may not have had the opportunity to “hold a safe space” for yourself so you can explore your feelings about life’s experiences, but you can do so now. You are an adult and you can parent yourself in a totally different way than you were parented.
The Contrarian’s Perspective…
We all have contorted to suit our family and our society in ways we may not be aware. We have jumped through hoops, bent over backwards, and toe’d the party line to be accepted. We’ve gone along to get along. But there is an alternative way of viewing the effort we have put into our conformation – even the most unreasonable inner contortionist must concede that you know how to move and stretch…
Simply use that ability in your own service!
Today is the day. Now is your time. Gently unfold, stretch your muscles, and get moving!
It’s always the perfect time to begin, or to begin again.
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Check out An Elegant Mind’s Handbook for more deep-dive ideas. And here’s
a gift for you…if you purchase the book, I invite you to contact me on my
website https://www.pauladtozerauthor.com and let me know that you have
purchased it. I will send you SKY MIND, a free guided meditation that I created
to get you in the Contemplative Writing mindset!