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Enchanting Treve – A Novel

What would you do if you discovered a secret…a secret delivered to you from beyond the grave?

A secret cast upon the veil that connects you to your beloved (and long-dead) grandmother…through the presence of a shaggy yellow dog?

What would you give to receive the skeleton key that unlocked a DNA deep connection to a family you never knew existed?  

Can we establish a conduit through time through the bright spirits who grace our lives? The ones we call our pets?

In the tradition of Big Fish meeting Marley and Me, enter into a storybook world shrouded in mystery, a world balanced on the nexus of fact and enchantment. A world vibrant with bittersweet moments…its joys and losses and traditions…and the pleasures and pains that arise from forbidden love.

A tale that may very well be the sweetest story ever told…

I am super excited to announce the upcoming release of my first novel, Enchanting Treve!

Stay tuned for more information!

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My Friend…

Isn’t it interesting how friendships form? As I was writing my new novel, Enchanting Treve, I thought about how, young or old, we can connect to one another in a deep and meaningful way. The generation gap does not have to factor into the relationship – if a person is truly willing to connect. In the novel, Tessa (65) meets Hannah (19), and a true connection happens over a shared interest – their love of dogs. This post outlines the many reasons why it is important to have friends of ALL ages.

The Ultimate Bag of Bones Manifesto

Isn’t it time to step out of your comfort zone and embrace diversity? Age diversity, that is!

If the oldest person in your circle of friends is under 35, you need to get out more. If the youngest person in your circle of friends is 40+, you need to get out more.

Out of your comfort zone, that is!

We understand that others can show us to ourselves in ways that we may never see otherwise. Many times, what gets reflected back to us as a “generation” gap is rich with information…if we are courageous enough to embrace it.

We often think of ageism as younger folks judging older folks as being outdated and narrow-minded. However, the opposite is just as true…older folks are more comfortable in the role of guide, advisor, or instructor with respect to younger people because we have experienced more days waking up…

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Trust Your Results

Results don’t lie. You may not like them, but you can trust them.

For the next few days, pay particular attention to how you spend your time. How you use your time is the most accurate representation of your priorities, because they reveal what is truly important to you.

Use this simple process to analyze your findings:

  • Honestly assess your results. Where did you spend your precious time? Where did you invest your precious time? Keep in mind that resting and recharging are an investment in your future success.
  • Question everything, especially your excuses.
  • Celebrate even the smallest wins. I suggest creating a Kudo Calendar where you can track your successes. Purchase a calendar with space on it to list your tasks. Check off each task as you complete it. Post your Kudo Calendar in a place where you can easily see it. I use brightly colored markers to check off the tasks that lead to even my smallest wins. You can do the same with a TO-DO List.
  • How did you make this small triumph happen? Be sure to include this mindset and process in your assessment.
  • Accept responsibility for your less-than-stellar results. If you do not like your results, are you inclined to blame someone or something for them?
  • Who or what defeated you? What can you do about it? Use your imagination to brainstorm new options. Perhaps you will discover that you have been defeating yourself in some way, shape, or form.
  • What are you already beginning to regret? Regrets, most often, come from living a lie.
  • Take action on your findings. Do more of the good stuff, and less of the not-so-good stuff. Action widens the gap between you and failure. Without action, even the most wonderful dreams will die.

If it’s important, we make the time. If it’s not, we make an excuse.

Marie Forleo

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If you find value in this post, please share it.

Check out An Elegant Mind’s Handbook for more deep-dive ideas. And here’s a gift for you…if you purchase the book, I invite you to contact me on my website https://www.pauladtozerauthor.com and let me know you have purchased it. I will send you SKY MIND, a free guided meditation that I created to get you in the Contemplative Writing mindset!

If you could be anything, what would you be?

credit jooinn.com

Just imagine…dream about it. Let your mind soar higher than the sky you see above you.

Can you love who you are? Your errors? Your vulnerable self? Your fierceness? Your weariness…your unique possibilities?

Can you let go of the value you place on your wounds?

Embrace it all. Each part has something to share. Sometimes it’s the triumph you feel by simply surviving.

Simple can be so beautiful…

Leave no piece of you behind to be devoured by wolves. These, too, have their place in the natural order, but in order for you to be peaceful all of your pieces must be joined, embraced, and accepted. At home.

Home. Sanctuary. Where the very best dreams are made.

The Nature of Nature

Nobody, no matter how financially wealthy, intellectually gifted, or physically beautiful, wins every time.

Even if you don’t win the game every time, if you can show yourself that you’ve made progress, that you are better for this investment of time and energy, that’s a WIN.

You win some, you lose some. But if you learn from every experience…then, my friend, you WIN. Every time.

’tis the nature of nature.

Simple. Pure. YOU…

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If you find value in this post, please share it.

Check out An Elegant Mind’s Handbook for more deep-dive ideas. And here’s a gift for you…if you purchase the book, I invite you to contact me on my website https://www.pauladtozerauthor.com and let me know you have purchased it. I will send you SKY MIND, a free guided meditation that I created to get you in the Contemplative Writing mindset!

STARGAZER

Give yourself some credit!

  • You are standing up for your dreams
  • You are putting in the effort
  • You are investing valuable time in learning and growing
  • You are applying what you’ve learned with as much excellence as you possibly can
  • You are satisfied with being awesome when most folks are satisfied with much less

Perhaps…just perhaps…you are a Stargazer?

Keep your eyes on the prize!

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If you find value in this post, please share it.

Check out An Elegant Mind’s Handbook for more deep-dive ideas. And here’s a gift for you…if you purchase the book, I invite you to contact me on my website https://www.pauladtozerauthor.com and let me know you have purchased it. I will send you SKY MIND, a free guided meditation that I created to get you in the Contemplative Writing mindset!

My Furry Guru Series: The Power of The Pack

Benjamin B. aka The Gen-a-min

​​Unlike most of the critters that enhance our lives, dogs have been systematically engineered to live with humans.  Consider the huge amount of diversity and personality characteristics that are part of each unique breed – if you have a specific requirement, there often is a specific breed that was purposefully bred to meet that need.  

However, dogs, like their human companions, have specific psychological and physiological requirements that must be considered in order to live their best life.

From the moment a new puppy or a grown dog comes into your home he/she begins searching – searching for where they fit into your “pack.”

Dogs have a natural ability to hear what we can’t hear, to smell what we can’t smell, and also to read the energetic atmosphere of not only our home environment but also the specific vibe of each human with whom they interact.

It’s been scientifically proven that some dogs can smell cancer cells, or can predict bad weather, so it’s not much of a stretch (or new-agey) to acknowledge that dogs can read our energy.  

The lone wolf idea is a myth.  Wolves, as well as dogs, thrive when they are part of a pack. Dogs are genetically similar to wolves, and even though there are vast differences now between wolves and your 3lb Chihuahua, dogs have evolved over eons to fit into the human pack we call a family.  In order to do this as well as they do, their innate ability to “read the human room” energetically has only been enhanced through thousands of generations of breeding.

To translate this into human terms, dogs truly understand the why’s, the how’s, and the power of teamwork.  There’s a lot that humans can learn from our furry gurus.

From the moment we were born we begin to realize that we are separate beings – apart from our mom and then dad and then others.  For any of you who are parents or have been around very young babies, infants have specific ways that are designed to get their needs met. Their overwhelming innate directive is to survive and, to them, it depends entirely on their ability to read the emotional environment. Due to familial dysfunction, sometimes infants develop attachment issues.  

These attachment issues can remain with us for the rest of our lives. However, there is an alternative – create your own darn pack!

In human terms, we call it a team. A team can be anything from a friendship, a family alliance, or a professional collaboration.

A deep, fulfilling relationship with our intimate partner is one of the most profound experiences of teamwork we can ever experience. As with a lot of life’s wonders, the pleasure of this kind of relationship must be experienced to be truly understood.

I have a coaster that sits beside my computer that reads, “In a perfect world every dog would have a home and every home would have a dog.”

Perhaps you have strained relationships with your family. Maybe you feel you are a loner and have trouble making friends. Perhaps there is nobody at your workplace who seems to vibe as your tribe.

Regardless of whether you have fulfilling human relationships or not, if you have the space, the means, and the compassion…I suggest you consider adopting a dog. I say, “adopting” because dogs are not something you rescue, like a shoe from the river, at least not to me. Dogs become part of your family. Your pack.

Consider your relationship with your dog to be teamwork. Dogs bring such sweet, vibrant energy to your life. They challenge you and stretch you in ways that no human can. They invite you to be the best human you can possibly be at this point in time…and encourage you to expand into the fullness of yourself by their example.

They are always dogging. Their simple nature, so accepting of all things human, has a way of melting the most frozen of hearts.

Truly, at the deepest grassroots level you can possibly imagine, dogs show us who we are.

Are you prepared to learn, love, and lead your pack?

Skipper aka The Bestest Boy

ps: Adopting a dog is a wonderful thing to do. There are so many dogs that need great homes. However, give it serious thought before you do so. Adopting a dog can be a lifetime commitment – their lifetime depends on your choice. If you are unsure about what dog would be best for you, please consult with a professional dog trainer or a local obedience club.

The Riches of Words

If each day you set out to enrich the lives of others, are you not rich as well?

Riches aren’t about what you wouldn’t have if you give it away, it’s about what is yours to give because you have it in abundance.

Words can be tarnished and jagged, or they can be sparkling, soft…and kind.

Words can flow from your lips, sweeter than honey…or as bitter as any acid.

You will know by a person’s words what is in their heart and mind. If their spirit is full, they will speak from their fullness. The conversation will be rich with meaning and inspiration.

If their spirit is depleted and barren, they will, most often, speak with the sour energy of regret.

Make peace with your regret. Accept your sadness. Reconcile with your pain.

How? Stop telling the old story.

Tell the story of your there to here in terms that makes a Thriver smile.

What did I learn?

How am I better for this experience?

How much more compassionate, wise…elegant…am I now?

Share this story often and with absolute conviction…until you come to realize it carries as much truth as did the old one. However, with this version of the story, you will never tire of telling it, because it feels good.

It’s the flip side of the coin – the abundant currency of life.

Regret…or the triumph over regret…you share which side holds the most riches for you.

Your Why Power

Your Whys are your most powerful motivators, however, if you don’t take an opportunity to explore your thoughts about why you do the things you do the way you do them, you won’t understand them very well.

Essentially, you will be “in the dark” about what fuels your activities.  You won’t truly be clear and confident in what actually is the cause of your choices because they are at work influencing you below the surface – in your subconscious, or even your unconscious moments.

Results don’t lie.  You can trust them.

Ever think, “I have no clue why I did that…or, What the frig was I thinking?”

This indicates that powerful forces are at work just below the level of your conscious awareness.  They create mindless, habitual habits and impulsivity – those actions that, as a general rule, leave you regretful in the morning.

Here’s an interesting idea!  Use your regret as leverage!

Allow your regret to prompt you to explore this experience on a deeper level through the elegant filter of your Constant Traveler.

Don’t jump to conclusions about yourself. 

Be truly generous – giving yourself compassion, respect, and the benefit of your doubt.

There may be ample evidence that what you did in the heat of the moment was detrimental or damaging to a life designed to THRIVE. You may be receiving plenty of feedback indicating that what you did wasn’t well received…or, if you did it to yourself, you may be feeling physically ill, exhausted, or bad about yourself in general.

Use this feeling to begin a thoughtful inquiry into this experience.  It’s the perfect time to begin because the encounter is still fresh in your mind.

I suggest that you list all the components of the story as best you can – get it out on paper.  Write until you are satisfied that it’s complete.

Then physically walk away from it. Do something else, something beneficial or nurturing.  It will be there when you return.

Why Power drives willingness, the most powerful force in the Cosmos.

There is a Why embedded in this experience, a hidden driver that made your reaction seem appropriate, perhaps even logical, at the time.

At first, it is enough to understand and acknowledge that this regret doesn’t serve you now.  This sparks the mind shift toward change.  Patience is key.

At some point, once you’ve gained some distance from it, you will be able to acknowledge that change is required on your end – and that you are willing to begin exploring new options for when this challenge arises again.

It will arise again, in a painful manner, if you’ve not found a way to neutralize its negative aspects.  History will repeat itself because it’s all you know how to do.

Dig deeper…

Getting to the root of this situation will expose your Why – the motivator that drives you to react in that particular way.

This is where you allow your Constant Traveler to “drive the bus” and open your mind to speculate on why you did it that way

The 7-Layers Deep Exercise – selecting a statement and asking Why is this important? for each subsequent answer 7 times, has the potential to lead you to your primary Why for this situation.

You may discover it is a survival Why.  You could feel particularly vulnerable in this situation.

It could be a relationship Why.  You may have felt disrespected or that you are not being heard.

There are many Whys in your repertoire.  These are adaptation responses that have served you well as a kid and formed as the grey matter between your ears was forming.  It truly could be a child’s Why – a version that would serve you much better as an adult if it was revised, or totally released.

Your deepest Whys – from how you think to how you react in different situations have become mentally and physically ingrained in you…so much so that you truly believe they are you.

What if they are not?

What if they would work best if revised?

What if the understanding of your private Whys could give you the ability to change your life for the better?

This exploration, your willingness to say, Okay, I’ll do it…if just for today…is the way to understanding, the catalyst for change, and the means for achieving it.

Consider it “bringing your thoughts to life” by offering them thoughtful consideration.

Dignify yourself with an elegant response – the response that your Constant Traveler knows you deserve.

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If you find value in this post, please share it.

Check out An Elegant Mind’s Handbook for more deep-dive ideas. And here’s a gift for you…if you purchase the book, I invite you to contact me on my website https://www.pauladtozerauthor.com and let me know you have purchased it. I will send you SKY MIND, a free guided meditation that I created to get you in the Contemplative Writing mindset!