Point of Impact

What is the point of it all?

Everyone must find the answer to this question for themselves. The only way to answer it is through living and exploring your precious life.

Approach it with the mindset of a contributor. Consider your potential…what you give may be the catalyst for something wonderful happening in someone’s life. You never know what this means to you until you act.

A perspective that you share may open someone’s eyes, a smile may brighten their day, a kind word may cause them to step back from the brink of oblivion.

You may be the reason that another person learns to be kind because you allow them to be kind to you…

Everyone says, Think big! What impact can I make on a global scale? I want to change the world!

The choice to walk creates the path ahead…

I believe it is important to focus on the point of engagement that is right in front of me…and find the Something Colored Beautiful moments in my ordinary day, those mundane points of impact that I have come to understand as blessings in disguise.

Until we are willing to do that, to be quiet and listen and observe and serve, our ego runs the show. It is our ego that screams, Be important or die!

In this way, it is speaking its truth, because everything is a deathmatch to the ego. Problem is, in its world, everyone dies.

This is what I have found to be true in my life – If I release my need to be important to everyone, I can focus on being important to someone.

I believe it is important to not spread yourself too thin…build your impact one by one person at a time…the people you see before you are your point of impact.

The ego hates to hear that. It hates to be last, or even second best. It must win. If you let it win, this drive will cost you your life, because for our ego even first is never enough.

Engage each person from your power-point, your point of impact. Make every interaction a quality engagement. Whatever flows from that point…if you influence one or grow your impact to reach thousands or millions, you will have built it on a truly solid foundation.

Then, friend, you will have the satisfaction of answering your own question.

Always Arriving

In a recent interview, modern thought leader and author Brendon Burchard described a meeting with Oprah.  Before anything else was discussed, she asked, What is the intention of this meeting?  

As Brendon explains it, Oprah is always seeking clarity – clarity of purpose and of time expenditures.  Well aware that there are only 24 hrs (or 1440 minutes) available in each day, she demonstrates that she values her precious time by seeking clarity in every interaction.

As Brendon teaches, every high performer knows that if they take care of the pennies, the dollars will look after themselves.  By clarifying their Whys, they can clearly map their Hows.

Why then do so many of us get bogged down?  Why is the “devil in the details” more apt for some of us than it is for these high performers?  Why does attention to detail bog us down instead of freeing us to do our best work?

Perhaps we are asking the wrong questions?  Or perhaps we are afraid to ask any questions at all?

Question Everything – this can be an open-minded, freeing way to live, or it can also be the means to close us off from the very things we are seeking.  The nature of your questions matter more than you may be aware…

Why am I so dumb?
Why can’t I stop eating junk?
Why can’t I be like my brother?
Why are people so hateful to one another?
Why does everything have to happen to me?
Why can’t I overcome this?
Is there anyone out there who loves me?
What if I never feel like I’m enough???

Is this line of questioning coming from a place of abundant curiosity, or lack of hope?  Haven’t you already decided before you asked the question?

And what happens when we are so afraid to speak up or so afraid of not being able to handle the answers, that we never ask the questions?

Truly, there is a devil in the details here, and it is fear.  Question the source of the questions.

Another reason we are afraid to seek clarity is that in order to do so we must admit that we don’t know what it is.  If we are afraid to ask questions because we may look dumb or incompetent, we become that which we fear.  We cannot feel competent and confident in our ability because we have chosen to pretend that we are something we are not….something limited.

How can you discover that which has the potential to fill you if you pretend that you are already full? 

You have chosen from meager offerings (the limited options you see before you – the ones you have already lived) and out of fear of being exposed as a poser you have fortified your position with mute defense.

You can’t unfold a flower with your hands…

Inspiration is the result of surrender to the natural flow of events. Fear of being discovered as not knowing blocks knowing.

Open yourself to what is possible.  You always have that choice.  Learn from the examples of the highest performers among us.  No matter what their age, level of success or intelligence or station in life, they seek clarity in all things.

An elegant mind does not accept detours, because it is always arriving.  It does not attempt to make the road shorter, but travels in such a manner that every action leaves the land more fertile and the landscape more beautiful.

Seeking clarity is a lifetime pursuit because each situation is always new.  You and I have never lived this day…in this way…before.

With this in mind, we are always arriving.

Your Prime Motivators

expressyourself

I spend a lot of time saving my own life.  It is easy to fall into a trap and waste a lot of precious time, so I work on it every day.

I have chosen to invest my time into the things that not only save me time and money but also save my energy so I can experience the best that life has to offer me now.

I practice saving precious life-time for the good stuff.

What is the good stuff?  Back in the day, I didn’t have a clue.  For many years I reacted to life.  I wouldn’t have liked to admit it, but I was at the mercy of others.  I took everything to heart and overthought every interaction.  I was always defensive, generally anxious, and easily wounded.  Life was a battleground.  I didn’t live it.  It lived me.

A person can survive this way.  I am living proof.  However, being constantly vigilant… cycling between threat assessment and fight/or flight is no way to thrive.

As loss after loss and wound after wound began to pile up like cordwood, I realized that if I didn’t do something about what was happening, that I would always stay in survivor mode.  I would always be somebody’s victim.

That wasn’t good enough for me. That hateful story sucked. I wanted to be able to tell the story of a life designed to thrive, not merely survive, but I didn’t know how.

I wanted, with all my heart, to know better.  Somehow, deep inside, I knew that thriving truly is the ultimate survival.

Like a drowning person searching for a life preserver, I began looking for answers.  I explored places I wouldn’t normally have looked, listening to people who didn’t think like me or live like me, and in many cases, didn’t look like me.   It was an uncomfortable process that required many years of research and self-inquiry to clarify, but what I found there was worth the price of admission and is truly worth sharing.

Anyone with the ability to think, speak, and act can do this work.

My first step was to establish my prime motivators.  We may not be able to articulate them at this time, but every human being has them.  These are the main drivers of our actions.  They either feed or starve our energy levels.

This meant getting back to the basics and identifying my essential motivational drivers, the reasons why I do what I do when I do it.

As it turns out, my prime motivators are creativity, connection, and community.

What Are Your Prime Motivators?

What gets you so excited about a project that you cannot wait to begin it?
And cannot wait to work on it?
Why do you want to do this thing so badly?
What is the payoff for doing what you do?
What deep urge in you does it satisfy?

Deep down, what truly matters? 

You may find that much of what you value has been instilled by your family or culture. This is your opportunity to clarify what you value as an individual. 

Values are not objectives, they are active, best life practices. 

Your values keep you on your path and become the basis for your personal standard of excellence.  What you value determines your motivation.

The key to this exercise is to not measure what you value by whether it is “right” or “wrong” but to determine how each of these values works with your vision for your best life.

If you were to share the things that inspire, energize and give you a sense of a job well done, what would they be?

Consider the list below.  Circle as many as are applicable to you.  Add your own.  This is your longlist.

Take your time and create a shortlist.  Give your shortlist a lot of consideration as if you needed your 3 prime motivators in order to claim a fantastic gift!  This information offers you the gift of clarity, of knowing yourself better.  It is a gift that keeps on giving.

1. What do you value?

Authenticity        Achievement       Autonomy           Adventure         Balance

Courage              Compassion         Challenge           Connection         Community

Contribution       Commitment       Creativity            Curiosity           Citizenship

Competency       Consistency         Dependability     Discipline          Diligence

Determination    Efficiency           Effectiveness       Education        Elegance

Fairness              Fitness                 Faith                  Fame                      Fun

Friendship        Good humor      Growth               Grit                       Happiness

Honesty              Health                Influence            Integrity               Innovation

Ingenuity            Justice                Kindness             Knowledge          Loyalty

Leadership          Learning             Love                   Motivation          Mentorship

Openness            Optimism            Peace                 Popularity            Passion

Perseverance      Positivity            Reliability            Recognition      Religion

Reputation          Respect              Responsibility      Tenacity             Spirit

Security              Service               Spirituality          Self-respect         Stability

Success              Status                Trustworthiness   Wealth                Wisdom

Wellness             Wellbeing

2. Create your longlist. I suggest writing them on a separate piece of paper.  The act of writing them out helps you to get your thoughts in order.  Although many of the values listed above may apply, I suggest keeping this list to 20 items.

3. Create your shortlist:

1._______________________________

2._______________________________

3._______________________________

4._______________________________

5._______________________________

6._______________________________

7._______________________________

8._______________________________

9._______________________________

10.______________________________

4. Check your shortlist and group similar values together. Our values often fall into the following 7 categories.  These may be helpful as you choose your top 3.

Social             Family                Personal Development           Financial

Career            Physical              Spiritual

5. My Prime Motivators:

1.____________________________

2.____________________________

3.____________________________

 

I am a fan of the work of entrepreneur Tom Bilyeu.  His podcasts, Impact Theory and Health Theory are truly worthy of your precious time.  In the recent Mindvalley talk below, Tom offers us a dazzling masterclass on how to invite others to listen, incite them to embrace change, and inspire them to action!  In a masterful demonstration of excellence in motivating others as well as public speaking, Tom cusses a couple of times, but that’s Tom and they fit.

Without a doubt, this man knows what drives him and uses this understanding to his best advantage.  Consider, as you watch this, how Tom’s prime motivators have been the genesis of his off-the-chart success.

Warrior Women I

Learn something new every day is one of my favorite slogans.

I believe that when a person has this mindset, their world changes.  You are not only ready to accept new information, but you naturally find yourself actively looking for something new to learn – something fresh to create a mind-spark in your own brain.

A unique and innovative perspective that serves to refresh yours.

Actively seeking is an aspect of warriorhood because you are willing to reinvent yourself.  You become comfortable acting on your choice to seek, to question, to re-evaluate your personal perspective.

A warrior understands the value of perspective.

I would like to introduce you to two very different styles of warriorhood.  In the past two days, each of these women has offered me their personal example of excellence, courage, and profound wisdom.  They are both gifts, offering the rest of us their unique perspective on the world as they courageously serve others.

The first of these women is CNN Commentator, Inspirational Speaker, and author of The 5 Second Rule, Mel Robbins.  Her TED Talk, How to stop screwing yourself over, is truly revolutionary.  I highly recommend you check it out.

Yesterday, when driving to meet my Toastmasters speech coach, Joe Grondin, and hang out with my daughter, Tairie, I listened to Mel speak on a podcast called Impact Theory.

In this interview, she gives us a glimpse into her world and answers the question, in her no-nonsense, matter-of-fact manner, why motivation is garbage.

Mel is by far one of the most energetic, candid, and authentic speakers I have heard to date!  She is not afraid to bare her soul…well, she may be afraid but you would never know it…because she does it anyway.  She is unapologetic about the times when she has fallen down, and the times when she has struggled in the mire of self-pity, post-partum depression, and debilitating anxiety.

Instead, she has used these dark moments to catapult her into a whole new realm of discovery and triumph!  Her struggles have truly fueled her dreams.

She totally Rocks!  You see, Mel Robbins is unapologetic for her triumphs, as well.

An ex-criminal defense attorney, Mel is a powerhouse of a speaker!  True to the title of these podcasts, this interview is truly impactful!

On a humorous note, after watching this interview, check out Mel Robbin’s profile on Wikipedia.  Read the first line to the end.  Consider that she thinks motivation is garbage…  🙂

What do you think, Mel?

Tomorrow I will introduce you to a very different style of warrior woman, Marie Kondo.  I will share with you why watching her quietly work on her Netflix series brought tears to my eyes…