Your Whys are your most powerful motivators, however, if you don’t take an opportunity to explore your thoughts about why you do the things you do the way you do them, you won’t understand them very well.
Essentially, you will be “in the dark” about what fuels your activities. You won’t truly be clear and confident in what actually is the cause of your choices because they are at work influencing you below the surface – in your subconscious, or even your unconscious moments.
Results don’t lie. You can trust them.
Ever think, “I have no clue why I did that…or, What the frig was I thinking?”
This indicates that powerful forces are at work just below the level of your conscious awareness. They create mindless, habitual habits and impulsivity – those actions that, as a general rule, leave you regretful in the morning.
Here’s an interesting idea! Use your regret as leverage!
Allow your regret to prompt you to explore this experience on a deeper level through the elegant filter of your Constant Traveler.
Don’t jump to conclusions about yourself.
Be truly generous – giving yourself compassion, respect, and the benefit of your doubt.
There may be ample evidence that what you did in the heat of the moment was detrimental or damaging to a life designed to THRIVE. You may be receiving plenty of feedback indicating that what you did wasn’t well received…or, if you did it to yourself, you may be feeling physically ill, exhausted, or bad about yourself in general.
Use this feeling to begin a thoughtful inquiry into this experience. It’s the perfect time to begin because the encounter is still fresh in your mind.
I suggest that you list all the components of the story as best you can – get it out on paper. Write until you are satisfied that it’s complete.
Then physically walk away from it. Do something else, something beneficial or nurturing. It will be there when you return.
Why Power drives willingness, the most powerful force in the Cosmos.
There is a Why embedded in this experience, a hidden driver that made your reaction seem appropriate, perhaps even logical, at the time.
At first, it is enough to understand and acknowledge that this regret doesn’t serve you now. This sparks the mind shift toward change. Patience is key.
At some point, once you’ve gained some distance from it, you will be able to acknowledge that change is required on your end – and that you are willing to begin exploring new options for when this challenge arises again.
It will arise again, in a painful manner, if you’ve not found a way to neutralize its negative aspects. History will repeat itself because it’s all you know how to do.
Getting to the root of this situation will expose your Why – the motivator that drives you to react in that particular way.
This is where you allow your Constant Traveler to “drive the bus” and open your mind to speculate on why you did it that way
The 7-Layers Deep Exercise – selecting a statement and asking Why is this important? for each subsequent answer 7 times, has the potential to lead you to your primary Why for this situation.
You may discover it is a survival Why. You could feel particularly vulnerable in this situation.
It could be a relationship Why. You may have felt disrespected or that you are not being heard.
There are many Whys in your repertoire. These are adaptation responses that have served you well as a kid and formed as the grey matter between your ears was forming. It truly could be a child’s Why – a version that would serve you much better as an adult if it was revised, or totally released.
Your deepest Whys – from how you think to how you react in different situations have become mentally and physically ingrained in you…so much so that you truly believe they are you.
What if they are not?
What if they would work best if revised?
What if the understanding of your private Whys could give you the ability to change your life for the better?
This exploration, your willingness to say, Okay, I’ll do it…if just for today…is the way to understanding, the catalyst for change, and the means for achieving it.
Consider it “bringing your thoughts to life” by offering them thoughtful consideration.
Dignify yourself with an elegant response – the response that your Constant Traveler knows you deserve.
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Check out An Elegant Mind’s Handbook for more deep-dive ideas. And here’s a gift for you…if you purchase the book, I invite you to contact me on my website https://www.pauladtozerauthor.com and let me know you have purchased it. I will send you SKY MIND, a free guided meditation that I created to get you in the Contemplative Writing mindset!