The End of Days

What is your point? At one point in my life, I had one overriding goal. To gain the approval of others.

Try as I might, it seemed like that approval never happened. It was interesting and discouraging, to realize that try as I might, I never seemed to get it right.

Can you relate? Who doesn’t want to get it right, right?

As a result, I tried harder. Worked harder, contributed more, and fought harder to realize my goal. As a result, I became an entertainer. A performer. I acted in a way that I believed people would appreciate. I sang songs other people loved – hoping they would love me for singing them.

My results were confusing. Something was wrong with that picture…

If you spend your time in relation to others aching for the moment when you can demonstrate your worthiness, you know what I mean. If we feel that others have the wrong idea about us, we can’t wait to prove them wrong.

I would say I believed the best about people, but I always believed the worst when it came to their assessment of me. With this mindset, there are never enough reasons to smile because there are always so many reasons to frown.

The truth is I never truly approved of myself…because if I did I wouldn’t have needed to prove it to anyone. If you don’t believe the worst about yourself you will never feel the need to prove anybody wrong.

You don’t have to fight for the right to feel good about yourself.

Nothing beneficial was ever built using a Scorched Earth Policy…unless you enjoy the taste of charred remains.

At the writing of this post, I am 61 yrs of age. As I continue to wake up on this side of the grass, I am learning what it means to be (chronologically) older than younger.

The Elegant Elder

Over the years, I have learned that being fit to retire means never truly retiring at all. It means advancing into the future with optimism, vitality, and active engagement!

It’s a matter of strategy…a strategy you must create yourself. I have gained an advantage over my former self by laying down my sword. Because I’ve learned that it is a sword that slices and dices both ways.

If your life is built on the memory of past failures, mistakes, and regrets it will be a sad way to go because it is sad now. In the end, you will prove the naysayers and judgment mongers right because it is how you will end up.

Looking into the past for answers is like navigating a ship by watching the wake of a boat. Considering that you have at least today on this side of the grass, it will benefit you to consider if the Captain has gone down with the ship before it even gets out of drydock.

If the wake drives your ship, what will remain after your wake and funeral service is over?

Will those that remain remember you and smile? Or cringe?

Are you someone who doesn’t care what people think about you, or are you someone who says they don’t care what people think about you? There is a distinct difference that makes all the difference.

What stories will they tell about you when you are gone?

Will they make excuses and explain why you were the way you were?

Will you be their example of what not to do?

Or will they feel guilty about doing their best to forget you?

Whatever your age, start now.

Conducting your business with elegance is a choice denied to none.

If your family and friends were truthful, what do you believe they would say about you?

Are you a help or a hindrance to those you love?

Are they happier to see you arrive than they are to see you leave?

What do you believe? That you are never enough? Good enough? Or way more than enough?

We all have our moments, but if you don’t want to be thought of as a sad old person, stop thinking like one now.

I question everything. I ask myself…Who will have the privilege of receiving my best today?

My Constant Traveler stepped in and provided an answer. I share it with you so you may feel it too!

The End of Days

My dream for the end of days? To savor

every hallowed hall-framed whisper,

every sacred snip of silence,

bolstered strong by self-reliance.

Tested every grand adventure,

pacified my sour temper,

respected well those zigs and zags,

those margin calls that tagged me in…

my exit card a wide and wicked grin.

I pledge to kiss my ass goodbye…in style,

every glint of dream that sparks my eye

well manifest and realized.

Optimized my full potential;

satisfied, complete surrender.

Maxed it out and lived it grand.

Eaten up. Made my stand.

Mastered by my artist’s hand.

Every tick well stepped in time,

every song well bathed in rhyme.

Each brilliant flash, each kindly word,

honored, blessed, well played, and heard.

Every space explored and prized,

every love tried on for size,

having walked through every door,

having kicked through many more!

Made my Constant Traveler proud.

Heard my rebel yell resound!

Creative juices unrestrained,

always ventured, always gained,

I’ll abandon my remains.

Rapt enjoyment having tried,

having answered every WHY?

as I drank the wellspring dry.


Perhaps the point of living is to figure out your point?


Published by Paula D. Tozer

I am a writer, poet and singer/songwriter. I am a Toastmaster, motivational speaker, personal creativity coach, and workshop leader. My most sincere wish is to share my words with others, and that we both benefit from the exchange.

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