Evidence of a Lie

On the first page of my journal, I wrote these words…

How often do you say, “I used to feel that way?”

This can be evidence of your personal growth, and your connection to this truth as evidenced in your life.  You may resonate with it and have integrated it into your life to a satisfying degree.  You speak with conviction, from experience.  You are being authentic.

However, it is wise to consider the alternative that exists…is it possible that you may be expressing that which you truly wish to believe with all your heart, but the evidence is proving otherwise?

What evidence? 

There will be evidence of incongruity.  You will feel the deception on some level, because you don’t feel it when you share it.  And when you say, I used to feel that way, you are stating that you’ve somehow overcome, healed, or transcended that which you are sharing.  What you are sharing no longer affects you.


People feel the evidence of a lie in your voice.  They feel it when your smile doesn’t match your eyes.  Or your words don’t match your heart.  

You teach what you need to learn. 

From my perspective, the evidence is clear. Humans flash in and out of congruity.  The human condition is about spontaneous, cyclical connection and reconnection to your Inspiration, your heart.  

Connection reestablished…

Last January my rural community received our first fibre-op internet connection. Before that our internet was sporadic at best. I couldn’t upload a picture, let alone a video. It didn’t matter how fast my computer was because our connection was so weak. That changed in January, however, I still get the message, your connection was restored, on a regular basis. It reminds me of the importance of restoring my connection with my source of Inspiration (I capitalize this because I feel it is vitally important, like oxygen) as well.

If you’re not feeling it, not speaking from the heart, follow that feeling. Acknowledge it. Engage your heart in your own compassionate service.  That line of inquiry neutralizes the lie and opens you up to learning about it.


Learning is the congruent application of that which you declare to be true. 

It involves understanding this basic requirement:  plugging in over and over to our Inspiration, that which energizes and promotes wise thoughts, words, and actions. I define this aspect of self as our Constant Traveler.

Wise, congruent thoughts are not a “done deal.” It is an ongoing process that begins daily… by acknowledging the need to connect and connect and connect – checking in with your inner state of feeling and knowing what both connection and disconnection feel like.  It is accepting the fact that you aren’t immune to that which you share, that within your private space there is evidence of a struggle.  

Instead of addressing the mess we are embarrassed by it.  We often feel compelled to step outside and close the door so others can’t see our turmoil.  We put on our “public face” or our “sharing face.”

I’m so generous…pay attention to what I am sharing with you, so you may see….you often see this when a person speaks about their version of religion.

Been there. Done that. When my words don’t match my thoughts about what I am sharing, I feel uncomfortable, disconnected. 

It is humbling to acknowledge that our words can express eloquence but not elegance.  Honor and compassion drive an elegant delivery.  


People won’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

John Maxwell

How do you acknowledge the evidence of a lie when you are speaking?

What do you feel is the remedy for incongruence?  

If you find value in this post, please share it.

Check out An Elegant Mind’s Handbook for more deep-dive ideas. And here’s
a gift for you…if you purchase the book, I invite you to contact me on my
website https://www.pauladtozerauthor.com and let me know that you have
purchased it. I will send you SKY MIND, a free guided meditation that I created
to get you in the Contemplative Writing mindset!

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Published by Paula D. Tozer

I am a writer, poet and singer/songwriter. I am a Toastmaster, motivational speaker, personal creativity coach, and workshop leader. My most sincere wish is to share my words with others, and that we both benefit from the exchange.

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