Cain’s Regret…

Take issue once again

with the blood so oily-fresh upon my hands.

Cause still with soft regret I sometimes pine

to kiss your face and tell you I was wrong.

But then again, my love

I’ve known it all along

Consider with me how human beings interpret the cosmos.  From our point of view we look out and observe what is going on before us, behind us, and around us – this observation forms what we call our point of view, or perspective.

We all love a great story. We celebrate the master storytellers of our time with awards, and the greatest of honors – we even adopt their stories as our own.  We most often call these ones “artists.”  We do this to differentiate them from “us” (the non-artists) and by doing so we set ourselves apart.

This also applies to those among us, those self-professed artists, who, by focusing on a specific attribute of artistry, believe that they are somehow set apart from the rest of humanity.

An aspect of 1st Nature…

We often say, practice until it becomes 2nd Nature, but what about 1st Nature?  Consider 1st Nature as that which is common to every human being alive, like our common senses.  1st Nature is what makes us human.

As the song goes, “I’m only human, after all.”  When we make a declaration regarding our humanity it can be for many reasons – celebration, condemnation, or excusing ourselves from being part of the human race.

Why do we do this?  Storytelling is an aspect of 1st Nature – curious, passionate, playful…creative…that which you are before you think about it and decide otherwise. 

Fact?  Or Fantasy?

Every human being alive is a masterful storyteller.  The difference between those who believe in the power of stories and those who do not believe in their power is truly a matter of belief. 

If you do not believe in the power of stories, in their ability to change your life, isn’t as important as what you do believe.

Consider this – a story can be motivational, demotivational, or neutral (simply stating What is).  Regardless of the chasm into which they fall, a story, told with conviction and passion, holds enormous power.  Perhaps, even the power over life and death, but most certainly a story holds the power over the way we experience our own life.

Our stories express the power of our belief in their power.

I invite you to examine the aspect of storytelling that I consider to be demotivational.  Call them personal hexes, chants, mantras, mottos, these anti-life affirmations have become such an ingrained part of our personal language that we have come to believe them to be true.

Use your imagination – imagine how the negative effects of your personal chanting can make your situation worse, or anchor you in the mire, or even shut down an alternative avenue of thought…one that may lead to a solution, or to freedom.

You’re killing me.

Man, that’s painful…

Just shoot me now.

What a pain in the butt.

I might break a hip.

My body hates me (or some other aspect of your physical being).

For most of us, these kinds of chants can be the result of fear, desperation, or pain – a particular suffering that reverberates throughout your mind and body, and affects your spirit.

Can you imagine how these kinds of chants can make physical distress worse?  When you tell your story, who are you trying to convince?

The perfect lie…

The lyrics in this blog are from my song, Cain’s Regret. It asks – is the perfect lie the one you tell yourself so often that you come to believe it?  If it is too painful, or too overwhelming to accept, we offer ourselves an alternative explanation…a preferable interpretation.

Pain is inevitable.  Suffering is optional. Regardless of the ambiguity surrounding its origins, this statement speaks of a human’s ability to transform an opportunity for learning into a reason for suffering.

How do we transform a story into a reason for suffering?  We imagine our version of events and chant it so often that we come to believe it.


God sleeps in the minerals, awakes in the plants, walks in the animals, and thinks in man. – Arthur Young

The cosmos is reflective of human nature.  1st Nature is reflective of the cosmos.  We are connected on an elemental level, deeper than DNA, reflecting every level of experience (like the layers of an onion).  This includes the known and the unknown and extends to every frontier – the heights of darkness and the depths of light.

We humans are natural storytellers.  Storytelling is a creative act.  Creativity is an aspect of our 1st Nature. 

In our attempts to understand, we deconstruct the fabric, the warp and weave of the cosmos, and reconstruct it according to our personal lens and language.

In our passion, we tend to forget that ours is one way, but not the only way.  It is an interpretation, a version, a perspective that we use as a means of interpreting the data we receive through the filter of our 1st Nature, physical senses, and life experiences.

We may be a clear filter, but we are a filter, nonetheless.  Our 1st Nature is that filter.

Ever heard the adage, If you stand for nothing, you will fall for everything?

The conclusions we reach (as an individual and/or as a collective) form the bedrock of consciousness on which we make our personal stand.

I ask you to consider that human beings cannot stand for nothing.  As humans we cannot stand on nothing.  When we feel cut adrift, with no anchor on a stormy sea of pain, we will create an anchor…and not even know that we are indulging in fantasy.

This is offered to you as an observation, not a judgement.  I, too, have indulged in fantasy.  That is how the song Cain’s Regret came to life.

My point is this – within every person there is darkness and light.  There are truth and lies.  There is the one who tells the stories and the one who says they aren’t telling stories…

Every story, no matter how sacred, is subject to interpretation.  This applies to the stories we hear and love, as well as the stories we love to hate.

This understanding…this acceptance of our 1st Nature, allows us to escape from limiting beliefs that keep us mired in suffering, because no matter how painful the situation, we now understand the power of our personal chants, our prayers, our beliefs, to construct the bedrock of our suffering – to worsen and prolong our personal suffering. Understanding opens up space – to aim high and dig deep and imagine reasons for letting it go.

This understanding can alter not only language of our beliefs, but the stories we tell ourselves over and over and over again…the language of our suffering.

And this change of belief alters our timeline in all directions – present, future and…past as well…from this moment on.

However, please don’t believe me.  My story is only one way.  One of the many gifts of embracing your 1st Nature is that you can find out for yourself. 

Now watch my hands, and watch my eyes.

Check them both again for the perfect lie.

As I softly cry to you that my time has come,

I whisper Cain’s Regret for songs I’ve sung…

Examine the stories you tell yourself today. 

Imagine it.  What would you have to lose?


Published by Paula D. Tozer

I am a writer, poet and singer/songwriter. I am a Toastmaster, motivational speaker, personal creativity coach, and workshop leader. My most sincere wish is to share my words with others, and that we both benefit from the exchange.

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