Do you have a BS meter?

MeterIn a recent conversation, a friend described emotions as being part of space/time.  I totally agree with that idea!  What need would we have of that type of connection with Spirit when we are pure Spirit?  And also, emotions are energy in motion – so they are necessary in the journey, so we are inspired to move in the right direction.

Emotions are like signposts.  They tell us when we are “in the Flow” and when we are stuck.  Folks say that I am “following my heart” and that can be translated to following where our emotions are leading us.

I view following my heart as following my intuition.  It does not have to do with comfort or discomfort, or pleasure or pain – but what “feels” right in the core of my being.  That is why it is so important to be in touch with that core and used to accessing it to ask for assistance and guidance.

Over the past summer I have done a lot of inner work, and I believe, have begun to correct my course and found the signposts to balance with regards to dealing with the physical aspects of life and my spiritual life.  I have come face to face with my shadow and am exploring it with as much courage as I can muster.  And that means taking the ego hits as my misguided actions have created them – in order to reflect back to me that which I need to learn.

I must reiterate that I am in the process of correction.  I believe we all are in the process or we would not be here.  This is a place where process is the prime directive.  It is where energy in motion is applicable – space/time.  If I am correct in that assumption then Hooray!!  If not, then I will find out, perhaps the hard way, but for now I am proceeding on that premise.

It has brought me to a number of “tentative” conclusions that I am continuing to explore.  Some are charged with a bit of annoyance and steely resolve so I am not sure if they are correct, but as correct as I can be at this time.

I believe one must accept what comes – It Is What It Is – and that resistance is not only futile, but counterproductive to our spiritual evolution.  But, whatever floats a person’s boat – if they wish to hang out here on the earth plane for eons living many lives, then who am I to judge another’s illusion when I am totally immersed in my own?

The more I know the more I realize I don’t know – this is my mantra, but even this I regard with suspicion – it is as humble as I know how to be at this point in time.  That could change.

Being on an “ego hunt” is just another way the ego is ruling us – when the ego is all we think about, it has us in its grip.  And we are working that angle, in its service, not even knowing that it is using us.

We must always realize that even when we reach an epiphany – that revelation comes through a filter.  It can be a clear filter, but a filter nonetheless.  Given this, we can never say for sure that what we are saying is TRUTH, but for the sake of our own spiritual evolution it will best serve us to “offer” that this is the truth as we see it.  As I see it (my disclaimer!!) all truth we experience here is subjective.  Truth is, regardless of my perception of it.  All else is subjective.

Don’t believe your own press.  Just when you think you are in cahoots with the TRUTH, you can surmise that you are probably the furthest from it you have ever been.  And if folks begin reflecting back to you the good stuff, remember that in order for that to continue, you must continue sharing what brought it to you in the first place – inspiration, of which you, as a the small “i,” are not the source.  Do not rely on your own thoughts and assumptions once the good stuff begins flowing – to change horses in the “middle of the stream” is never a good idea.  Stuff gets lost and shit gets wet.

I have come to regard correcting others (or the urge to correct others, especially in a public forum) with suspicion and caution. As I see it, it is a thin disguise presented by the ego to assert itself and gain power.   I now attempt to use that urge to correct myself.

We are all doing our best with what we know – it best serves me to be careful not to provide a definitive course of action for anyone else.  If specifically asked, I try to remember to offer a disclaimer along with my advice.  I have heard folks give advice under the guise of “divine guidance.”  I have done it myself, in a manner of speaking, and probably still do.  Forgive me my ignorance.  The best guidance is that offered by example.  The ego loves “divine guidance.”  It knows we are trying to get rid of it, and so it plays along – I will make you feel more spiritual – aren’t you so holy now??

We are all working with the ego.   I am quite wary of those that say “I have no ego.”  If we had no ego, we would not be here.  Period.  That is my thought, take it or leave it.  IMHO, to deny that is another way the ego gains power.  Find your fear, face your shadows – know how the ego works.  Then you will better understand when it is asserting itself.

Know your limits.  Also understand that they may change without notice.  They will change as you discover them.  There is always another box to think out of – Always.  When the boxes are gone, you will not be.

Consider why a person needs others to sanction their lives, to condone their actions, path or endeavour.  Consider why others offer it.  It is always good to know why it works for you.  This does not mean that it is a bad thing; encouragement is necessary for most of us, but it is always beneficial to understand if it comes from a perspective of fear or love.  Are they simply reflecting back to you what you want to hear?  Is it all about your agreeing to give your power of choice to someone else because you are afraid of it?  Are you simply spreading love and expecting and accepting miracles?

Overthinking is not the same thing as contemplation.  Contemplation, as I understand it at this point, is regarding a new point of view, considering it, and then assimilating it, if you intuitively feel it serves you.  You are open to inspiration by accepting what intuitively feels right for you.   Overthinking (worry, obsessing, talking yourself into something, or making yourself believe that you are right in whatever manner possible) is the ego’s way of making much ado about nothing.  It loves creating a storm in a teacup.

If something feels good (intuitively) at the time, work with it.  Follow the white rabbit.

What does the term “spirituality” mean to me?  I consider roles, rituals, procedures, hierarchies and power struggles – as I now see it this is not the Spirit component in what we consider spirituality.  It is dogma.  And considering that I am attempting to define the term in terms of what it isn’t – I guess I don’t know.

I am aware that all that I have written here stinks of bullshit.  I may know how to write it but I may not know how to live it.

Paulo Coehlo’s book Warrior of the Light was a timely read for me.  I highly recommend it.  I believe I was ready to accept the cloak offered me, and to cast away that which was not working as I face my shadows, my resistance, my fears.  Not easy, but simple, as A Course In Miracles says.  And the process is ongoing, always working, always discerning, always guiding – intuitively –  through inspiration.

At the very least, I am encouraged.  I have discovered my bullshit meter.

You know, I love this life for what it brings, even when it stinks.



Published by Paula D. Tozer

I am a writer, poet and singer/songwriter. I am a Toastmaster, motivational speaker, personal creativity coach, and workshop leader. My most sincere wish is to share my words with others, and that we both benefit from the exchange.

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